21 December 2010

Mad Dog

Filed under: Reflections — ktismatics @ 10:26 am

“I like myself more when I’m ticked off. And right now I like myself a lot.”

– Tom Izzo, men’s head basketball coach at Michigan State University

I’m on my morning walk, the one that takes me toward the foothills, through the condo complex, alongside the engineered drainage ditch. A woman walking a dog approaches on the sidewalk. The dog is medium-to-short in stature, stocky, big-jawed — I don’t know my dog breeds, but I’m thinking at least half pit bull. The dog is on a long leash, and it’s got that look in its eye like it wants to tussle. Just as we’re about to pass one another the woman shortens up the leash, pulling the dog next to her. We pass. Immediately I feel something grabbing the back of my leg. I turn: the woman and the dog are walking away.

“Get that fucking dog off of me,” I yell at the woman.

The woman stops and faces me. “Well good morning to you too,” she replies. The dog says nothing.

“Your dog grabbed me.”

“It didn’t grab you.”

“Yes it did, you bitch.”

“Oh, so I’m a bitch now?”

“You’re both bitches.” Woman and dog walk away. I’m still standing there, yelling after them: “That’s a fucking pit bull. If you can’t control it better than that, you should get it off the street. Or better yet, let it off the leash so it can go for my throat.” I continue my usual route, make the turn by the open field, and head home.

*  *  *

EVENING UPDATE. Today just wasn’t a good day for me to go outside. My afternoon run took me to the library (where I dropped off a book for my wife and picked up Neal Stephenson’s Snow Crash for myself). Two different cars almost hit me, both times when I was in a pedestrian crosswalk. The first guy seemed to be looking right at me as I approached, but as I was passing directly in front of his car he started driving toward me. I had to take evasive action to avoid being hit. When I yelled at the driver he acted like I’d dropped out of the fucking sky directly in front of his car. I swore at him and gave him the finger; he returned the gesture and drove off. Not two minutes later it happened again, at a different crosswalk. THESE FUCKING ASSHOLES, I yelled, and this time the car actually stopped to let me pass. The library book and I both made it home intact.



  1. Not long ago I was crossing the road and was nearly run down by a cyclist, who went through a crossing at a red light. This happens all the time in London, cyclists believe they have to right to run reds for some reason. I shouted at him that he was a fucking cunt. Whereon he screeched to a halt and cycled back to shout at me. He said the lights were turning amber. Then I launched into a tirade about why doesn’t he run over old ladies and shit who are still crossing the road when the lights are turning amber. That felt good.

    In the summer, a white van with two incredible wankers in it tried to run me down – speeding up – when I was carrying Romy across the road. As they passed, when I had stumbled to the side of the road, one of them shouted “boo” out of the window. I had fantasies about tracking them down and killing them and feeding their bodies to their families. That felt good. But maybe a bit wrong…?

    Merry Christmas one and all!!

    The Don died on Friday:

    Snow Crash is great fun. I like The Diamond Age too.


    Comment by NB — 22 December 2010 @ 7:57 am

  2. I remember your mentioning a Captain Beefheart “tune” once before, nb. His avant-garde experimentation was/is generally lost on me, though I acknowledge that I’ve never really given him much of a listen.


    Comment by ktismatics — 26 December 2010 @ 12:08 pm

  3. This song is rather lovely. It appears in The Big Lebowski:

    This guy I know told me last week that he saw Beefheart in the early seventies. He went backstage and was horrified to see that the Captain and his Magic Band all wore wigs! Killed the whole shebang for him.


    Comment by NB — 28 December 2010 @ 5:23 am

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